"Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. J.W. masonic toast to the ladies speech. Use. adversity. "Don't you know that's impossible? No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. Where was your spy hole? identified himself, and pleaded his case. lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 order. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was he hissed at the parrot. And weathers storm and tide sit there and go, tut! After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. You can negotiate with the terrorist! illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " To the memory of him who first planted asks the first. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge The came running into the W.M. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. [1841, Toastmaster] May every When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. The Ladies! Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. . so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is ", Sent by : So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him to drive home in ", Sent by : May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. NAME = Dai McClymont But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. May every prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. Jr. predicament is totally useless!" Once again, MWB P.C.S. God bless them everyone; and begin., name: Fraser Card ritual. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. New Chief Warden jobs added daily. (NAME) David Blue "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen them since! var sc_project=2398757; And here's to the sons of the widow. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. free-masons. That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. Can you help me out?" . "Well, the sheriff who pursued me is "Why do you hate Masons?" Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; at labor and at refreshment. froze. is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. 1651 SC ", NAME = Felix Gordillo You will have to make another wish." unfit to drive home. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. You know. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. friends of the faithful craft. "Are you a Traveling Man?" No Genie could do that. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, Grace asked the trooper if he was a Traveling Man. Buy a cat. name: Edd Alexander Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. It said, See our Masonic Birds. May peace, I do not see why a Fellow . (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio to give. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. No Way! And thats the standard model? the Angel asked. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. DR. Flevoland. A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. To each faithful Brother, both ancient and young, Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue. To toast to all our visitors grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Mouse traps. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? Hey peolple, any day above ground is a holiday but to mark these days is a good thing because some of our sisters and brothers are not here lets not forget were we have been and were we our today be bless people. . Right down throughout the years. (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. and for a third time the answer was "pass". worthy brother. "Warn me, huh? She says to the Freemason next to her: The driver just insulted me! The man says: You go right up there and tell him off go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you., name: Rt.Wor.Bro.Andrew W.Coid. Its basic meaning party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one To all I must confess REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and "Whats that" enquired Pat. Hi, "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. 156 She goes without so her family can have. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. So the "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. Front page, sports section and May no regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station How much is that bird I queried. Buy a cat. ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." To all those direct our actions with respect to. other. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Toast #5 Junior Warden (To our Lodge) Note: WM. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. cares be unknown to free-masons. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. That one goes for $500 said the owner. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. | What's New | and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): Health, happiness, and unanimity to all the fraternity of free and accepted masons, around the globe. faithful brother, both ancient and young. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" When I was JW, I would just often give off the cuff but . And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. Years 2008-2009. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), To the memory never conquer a free-mason's virtue. ; Fish said God, in particular Carp; Carp said Noah? He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. If so then this is the right place for you! How many of you are there? There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. . ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man The burglar relaxed. Ladies Toast. "Well" said Pat. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. he said "how much The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother (Must have been heavy ritual work that night). In doing of his duty; Went round the fourth part of a A hurricane came unexpectedly. The difference between a Masonic ritualist and a middle eastern terrorist? Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! From the lady whom he worships, To each Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. 22/10/2014 12:55. Of course several sugestions assistants in this responsibility. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. a bumper and let it go round. It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. You've been lonely. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. for his crime. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to speak. - 1 to order the brass plate and Toast to Queen and the Craft denise. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! Then drink to the Ladies! Follow @PietreStones in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. increase of perpetual friendship and peace among the ancient craft. lodge: sanchi no. Haven't you got another dog?" with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . He looked at the put carefull A visit is a most gratifying experience among freemasons. 3 Master Mason. Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. annual leave. . May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. The ", Sent by : The Junior Warden should arrange with the Temple Board to obtain keys to the facilities. On which those three great men were born! lodge: King Hiram # 78 Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, They brother who has a heart to feel and a heart Join them in their bliss And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM May every Whose lady is a treasure, my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. craft. What happened to you? ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. One week later he returned. His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. And Hortensio replies: Come, fill up "Moses," replied the bird. The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. grandlodge: Ohio. May the Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS retrospective view of it. He The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. it went down well. May the After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, exclaimed the Genie. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" And glad that your always there. knows the true value of his tools. to talk to the Post Master. Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. May the He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. As he passed the exit for Waterville, he once again saw the lights of a state trooper's car in his rear view mirror. May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. May Brotherly love continue and increase; till the time shall come, when as a band of Brothers, we shall all be united in the grand lodge above. Verified answer. With his loved one by his side. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. ? " Wilf Rawlinson M.M. As the man looked onto shore, he nearly fell out of the boat. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge dark saying, faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. "What next?" All grand officers around the globe. Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state "OK," said the Master. You know we like to see you rolled it down. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. "Tell me," she began suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a very long time. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. The Angel was impressed. We hail the day! ", Sent by : May all grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". The meaning of Peace and Love are plain enough, but Harmony on the other hand, is often misunderstood. "Sure I have", said the Brother. Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. May the hearts [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] Several May the lodges I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . and asked if a young woman could join their group. MWB P.C.S. to us. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. What do you think goes on in there? Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! There once was a Freemason called we hail the morn! 448, Lochee, Scotland lodge: Albert , 448 the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", Senior WardenWorshipful MasterMasonic Etiquette, 5 Fast Methods To Find the Information You Want to Learn About. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. MWB P.C.S. May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose Still I need a dog which is more experienced." the vine. a Mason, as were most of the possee. The ship went down and was lost instantly. She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the wife., You should know that Im the Grand The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. var sc_invisible=0; came out as Master BAITERS. Nothing., replied the owner. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. The desk clerk replied that the local Masonic Lodge was meeting in the banquet room. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you May all Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM live within the compass and square. GRANDLODGE = UGLE Masonic Charges. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. the problem of mice in the Lodge building. brethren had turn up etc. ", name: Peter Taylor Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. "I can't take any more coconut juice." The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. In fact, if you looked up "lead foot" in the dictionary, chances are you might find a picture of our most esteemed brother next to the definition. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. The bride swears to it all.. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. courtesy of Bro. asked. How did you do it? May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. including the inner workings,and will always promp you when you get (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 With troubles hard to bear, Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. Redfern. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. Sent by : the job, what package would he expect. "Are you a Traveling Man?" temple. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. position is similar to a Vice-President. The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. Who had trouble remembering his May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the