Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. 2023 Inspirationfeed. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. You know what they ought to do with churches? Lists. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. [CDATA[ "Boy everyone in this country is running around yammering about their fucking rights. , (function () { You don't. You have no choice. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? You have no choice. The only country that could invade America is America! Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Period. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Its because volunteers work for no pay. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. 5. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. Topics. (function() { George Carlin, Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?George Carlin, Electricity is really just organized lightningGeorge Carlin, Would a fly without wings be called a walk?George Carlin, There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. " George Carlin 15. 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George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. a[a9] = { The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. Cause pretty soon they have little hats. His critical thinking shines on stage and opens your eyes to modern-day problems that most folks are oblivious to. I think that speaks for itself. Its a great feeling. Use your fucking heads! googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; [.] Save the planet? v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). if (window.csa) { Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. }); page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} } //= 2; // retina display And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. And fight songs. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? You have owners. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); var ue_sn = "www.goodreads.com"; //]]> Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. People are wonderful one at a time. George Carlin "The planet is fine. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. born on May 12, 1937, } else { And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. return null; At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. 3. George Carlin. We just believed everything. George Carlin > Quotes (?) To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Feel free to reach out and connect. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. .__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.__prevent_empty_css_file{width:0}.authorModuleDropdownMenu{width:180px;border-left:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-right:1px solid #D8D8D8;border-top:1px solid #D8D8D8}.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink,.authorModuleDropdownMenu__dropdownLink:hover{display:block;text-align:left;padding:12px;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;color:#000000;cursor:pointer}#authorInfo{display:-webkit-box;display:-moz-box;display:-ms-box;display:box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-moz-flex;display:-ms-flex;display:flex;padding:10px 10px 5px 10px}#authorInfo .authorInfoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:1;-moz-box-flex:1;-ms-box-flex:1;box-flex:1}#authorInfo .authorPhotoGroup{-webkit-box-flex:0;-moz-box-flex:0;-ms-box-flex:0;box-flex:0;margin-right:10px}#authorInfo .authorFollow{display:flex}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{border-radius:3px;border:1px solid #D6D0C4;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", "Helvetica", sans-serif;font-size:14px;-moz-appearance:none;-o-appearance:none;-webkit-appearance:none;appearance:none;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-decoration:none;color:#333333;background-color:#F4F1EA;line-height:1;padding:8px 12px;font-size:16px;padding:12px 24px;box-sizing:border-box;text-align:center;margin-left:0px;padding:0px;min-width:38px;height:32px;background-image:url(/assets/down-caret.png);background-repeat:no-repeat;background-position:center;float:right}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{border-color:#DDDDDD}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:hover{color:#333333;background-color:#ede6d6;text-decoration:none}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:active{background-color:#D6D0C4}#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer:disabled{background-color:#F3F3F3;color:#cccccc}@media (max-width: 540px){#authorInfo .authorFollow .authorDropdownContainer{min-width:20px;width:27px}}#authorBooks{*zoom:1}#authorBooks:after{content:"";display:table;clear:both}#authorBooks .sectionTitle{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;padding:10px 10px 0 10px;margin:0}.accordionContent{padding:0 10px}.authorBio{padding:0 10px;margin-bottom:10px}.authorBooksMeta{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;padding:0 10px}.authorBooksMeta a{color:#00635D}.authorBooksTotalReviewCount:before,.authorBooksTotalRatingCount:before{content:"\00b7"}.authorDetailsList dt,.authorDetailsList dd{display:inline;margin:0}.authorDetailsList dd:after{content:'\A';white-space:pre}.authorDetailsList dt{font-weight:bold}.authorDetailsList dd{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;margin-bottom:15px}.authorDetailsList dd a{color:#00635D}.authorSimilarAuthorsLink{padding:0 10px}.authorDistinctWorksLink{padding:0 10px;display:block;margin-bottom:10px}.authorFansLink{font-weight:bold}.authorInterviewsList{list-style-type:none;margin:0;padding:0}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterview{margin-bottom:15px}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewAt a{color:#00635D}.authorInterviewsList .authorInterviewTitle{display:block}.authorName{margin-bottom:10px}.authorShortBio{color:#999999;font-family:"Lato", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif}.authorShortBio a{color:#00635D}.authorQuotesLink{margin-bottom:15px}.quotesList{border-top:1px solid #CCCCCC;margin-top:15px}.quotesPage{margin-left:10px}.noQuotes{margin-top:15px} Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. #government. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); Goalcast inspires the world through stories. George Carlin. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. George Carlin. George Carlin. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Thats the problem. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. } Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. We havent tried that for a while. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Lets get started! They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize Im listening to it. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. Resources. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. Teach them to question everything. Hope these quotes will give you a different perspective on government and how it works. //]]>. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. return true; googletag.enableServices(); All rights reserved. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. Its interested in its own power. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. How are YOU going to tackle today? "https:" : "http:") + My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, And fight songs. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. American } To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. That's the problem." "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out." " Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity ." Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. They own everything. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { - George Carlin quotes. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. [CDATA[ George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); You have no choice. Never argue with an idiot. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. 1. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. Born: May 12, 1937.